he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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