hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
