and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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