and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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