that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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