Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
it glows. i had to have it.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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