girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
