'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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