Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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