Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
