Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
