'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize