oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
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Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
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You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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