Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
