well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
How's work?
Spinning.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
