She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
