You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
