Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
