Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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