well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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