party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
