i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
It's official drugs can't kill me
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
