He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
