so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
