"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
