so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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