New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
