ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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