she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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