I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
