got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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