are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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