He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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