one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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