Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
