my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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