Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...