i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?