Texts From Last Night

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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.

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  (414): I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex. http://tfl.nu/ut6h
  Replies (6) Good night (3533) Bad night (673)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight

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  (740): Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook. (740): Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight http://tfl.nu/qdoi
  Replies (23) Good night (765) Bad night (2901)
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  (818): View more from California

  Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.

  (818): View more from California

  Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.

  (818): View more from California

  And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.

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  (818): Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week. (818): Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks. (818): And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it. http://tfl.nu/ncbc
  Replies (14) Good night (3412) Bad night (603)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it

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  (443): he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it http://tfl.nu/sa3y
  Replies (52) Good night (1385) Bad night (6211)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation

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  (443): I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation http://tfl.nu/w8jm
  Replies (76) Good night (7664) Bad night (1307)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick

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  (901): I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick http://tfl.nu/35jp
  Replies (11) Good night (4967) Bad night (1070)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.

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  (815): we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod. http://tfl.nu/j49l
  Replies (7) Good night (3019) Bad night (1096)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate

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  (407): hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate http://tfl.nu/k1eh
  Replies (3) Good night (2512) Bad night (650)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Who wants vodka and apple sauce

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  (608): Who wants vodka and apple sauce http://tfl.nu/g86m
  Replies (4) Good night (887) Bad night (449)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy

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  (410): those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy http://tfl.nu/avdc
  Replies (2) Good night (923) Bad night (340)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.

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  (724): Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though. http://tfl.nu/whvr
  Replies (2) Good night (875) Bad night (343)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.

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  (352): We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home. http://tfl.nu/59j5
  Replies (7) Good night (785) Bad night (656)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.

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  (305): Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized. http://tfl.nu/vgu8
  Replies (7) Good night (564) Bad night (247)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat

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  (240): How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat http://tfl.nu/bfcr
  Replies (4) Good night (402) Bad night (482)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.

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  (860): I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum. http://tfl.nu/q7aq
  Replies (0) Good night (509) Bad night (274)

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