People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
