just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
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