Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
