I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
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Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
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I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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