Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
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I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize