It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
