i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
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