just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
