so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
