im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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