take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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