she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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