i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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