I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
