I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
