Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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