Plan B is the new Plan A
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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