We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
