Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
