WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
i think we sleep fucked last night...
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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