Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Randomize
