the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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