just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
