She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
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was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
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I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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