It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
