Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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