I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
