Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize