he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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