Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
