I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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