the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
