he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
