Sry I called you an 8
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
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